There was an old (well - I am not officially old - yet. I have to accept that I am officially middle age) woman who lived in a shoe (ok the the house is not a shoe. It is rather large and normally looks quite OK).
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do. (There is only three of them. Although the 3 & 5 year olds make it feel like 40. And I really know I should be MORE stricter with them, even though I don't have the courage or energy for it.)
She gave them some broth without any bread, (yes, yes. I made soup tonight and I honestly couldn't face going to the shop to buy breadrolls.
The mere thought of having to first wipe all the hands and feet, getting the dummy, making sure there is a bottle in case it starts howling for one, waiting for the assorted collecting of toy collection that has to accompany us on the 1km trip to the shop, the strapping into the safety seats (after I finally manage to pry the Heir out from underneath the back seat of the Voyager), the throwing each other in the car with toys (while yelling at the top of their voices), the constant begging for a sweet while in the shop, the wailing because they didn't get a sweet a the shop...you know - the usual.) )
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. (Now I could never understand this line as a child. )
I always thought - what a mean, mean mother.
However, now it all makes perfect sense to me.
You see - the old woman in the the shoe told her kids to go to bed at 7:00pm. So that they could settle down, read a bit - you know - the whole emotional calming down period thing.
By 7:30pm she warned them that lights out would be in 30 minutes.
By 7:45pm she warned them that lights out would be in 15 minutes. As per the recommendation of most renowned child psychologists and other idiots who probably never had children in their lives and were all mean-sprited old farts.
By 8:00pm she told them to switch the lights off and kissed them all goodnight and tucked the whole lot up.
By 8:10 she sat down with abrandy & coke cup of tea, finally getting her feet up for a bit.
By 8:15 she politely told the 5-year old (who came throught to the lounge for a last goodnight hug) to sleep well and hugged her back.
By 8:25 she made a cup of tea for the 5 year old.
By 8:27 she asked the 11 year old why she is still scutlleing around the bathroom.
By 8:30 she was trying to find the 11 year olds homework diary as tomorrow morning there won't be enough time to do this.
By 8:40 she was desperately logging onto the Internet to find some data on HIV/Aids for the 11-year old's project that is due tomorrow morning.
By 8:50 she was sulking and thinking unkind thoughts about the world in general. Not helped by the depressing AIDS statistics on the screen.
By 8:59 she shrieked at the 5 year old.
By 9:30 she had completed the HIV/Aids task in her best 11-year old scrawl.
By 10:00 she had another twobrandies cups of tea.
By 10:30 she had finished picking up all the clothes/shoes/toys, done the dishes for the evening, got all the school clothes ready for the next morning, made bottles for the night, packed lunch for everyone for tomorrow.
By 10:45 she AGAIN told the kids to GO TO BED. IT IS LATE. AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL AT SEVEN.
Clearly she (or the kids) was missing something somewhere.
And because she didn't know what is was and by then she was seriously loosing the plot, she gave them all a smack and threaten them with more if they didn't GO TO SLEEP NOW!!
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do. (There is only three of them. Although the 3 & 5 year olds make it feel like 40. And I really know I should be MORE stricter with them, even though I don't have the courage or energy for it.)
She gave them some broth without any bread, (yes, yes. I made soup tonight and I honestly couldn't face going to the shop to buy breadrolls.
The mere thought of having to first wipe all the hands and feet, getting the dummy, making sure there is a bottle in case it starts howling for one, waiting for the assorted collecting of toy collection that has to accompany us on the 1km trip to the shop, the strapping into the safety seats (after I finally manage to pry the Heir out from underneath the back seat of the Voyager), the throwing each other in the car with toys (while yelling at the top of their voices), the constant begging for a sweet while in the shop, the wailing because they didn't get a sweet a the shop...you know - the usual.) )
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. (Now I could never understand this line as a child. )
I always thought - what a mean, mean mother.
However, now it all makes perfect sense to me.
You see - the old woman in the the shoe told her kids to go to bed at 7:00pm. So that they could settle down, read a bit - you know - the whole emotional calming down period thing.
By 7:30pm she warned them that lights out would be in 30 minutes.
By 7:45pm she warned them that lights out would be in 15 minutes. As per the recommendation of most renowned child psychologists and other idiots who probably never had children in their lives and were all mean-sprited old farts.
By 8:00pm she told them to switch the lights off and kissed them all goodnight and tucked the whole lot up.
By 8:10 she sat down with a
By 8:15 she politely told the 5-year old (who came throught to the lounge for a last goodnight hug) to sleep well and hugged her back.
By 8:25 she made a cup of tea for the 5 year old.
By 8:27 she asked the 11 year old why she is still scutlleing around the bathroom.
By 8:30 she was trying to find the 11 year olds homework diary as tomorrow morning there won't be enough time to do this.
By 8:40 she was desperately logging onto the Internet to find some data on HIV/Aids for the 11-year old's project that is due tomorrow morning.
By 8:50 she was sulking and thinking unkind thoughts about the world in general. Not helped by the depressing AIDS statistics on the screen.
By 8:59 she shrieked at the 5 year old.
By 9:30 she had completed the HIV/Aids task in her best 11-year old scrawl.
By 10:00 she had another two
By 10:30 she had finished picking up all the clothes/shoes/toys, done the dishes for the evening, got all the school clothes ready for the next morning, made bottles for the night, packed lunch for everyone for tomorrow.
By 10:45 she AGAIN told the kids to GO TO BED. IT IS LATE. AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE FOR SCHOOL AT SEVEN.
Clearly she (or the kids) was missing something somewhere.
And because she didn't know what is was and by then she was seriously loosing the plot, she gave them all a smack and threaten them with more if they didn't GO TO SLEEP NOW!!
1 comment:
Hey Lorraine,Thought you might be interested in the origins of that rhyme!
There was an Old Woman Rhyme
Nursery Rhyme & History
Origins of the Rhyme "There was an old woman" in Regency England?
At first glance the words to "There was an old woman" would appear to be nonsense but in fact it is believed to have origins in English history!
There are two choices of origin!
The first relates to Queen Caroline (There was an old woman) wife of King George II who had eight children. The second version refers to King George who began the men's fashion for wearing white powdered wigs. He was consequently referred to as the old woman! The children were the members of parliament and the bed was the Houses of Parliament - even today the term 'whip' is used in the English Parliament to describe a member of Parliament who is tasked to ensure that all members 'toe the party line'. As a point of historical interest the wigs worn by women of the period were so large and unhygienic that it became necessary to include mousetraps in their construction!
It's interesting where some of those come from isn't it?
PS I wrote on my blog for ya!
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